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While divorce rates in the US are gradually declining, it’s still estimated that a whopping 41% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce. The reasons for this differ in every marriage. Some are due to things that could’ve been resolved if communicated. But others have already seen divorce as their final resort, the only thing that could still give them happiness.
It’s unfortunate, but leaving a broken marriage is often the best idea.
Can a Failing Marriage Be Saved?
Before ever considering the possibilities of divorce, couples weigh if the marriage can be saved.
Regardless of how damaged it already is, couples have invested in their union. They wouldn’t simply and nonchalantly abandon it without putting in effort to make things work.
In So You Want to Be a First Lady, a story of leaving a broken marriage by Tish Barnhardt, the author shows the resilience of women in marriage problems. Despite already struggling in a union that’s becoming loveless, the story shows how relentless women can be in salvaging the love they once shared with someone they thought was special in their lives.
However, as the story is a cautionary tale, Tish Barnhardt writes about women’s triumphs.
She shows that while they can be nurturing for the love they once had, women are also strong enough to let go, leaving a broken marriage. They can prioritize themselves all the while fighting to keep the marriage afloat.
So in between leaving a broken marriage or saving it, women can do either.
They can fight for it until the very last moment. However, women can only do so much on their own. If their partners don’t put in the same amount of effort as they do, then women can readily leave.
When Is It Time to Leave a Marriage?
When do women fight, and when do they do so?
The complexity behind leaving a broken marriage is finding out when this “broken” can be fixed and when it’s a hopeless case. Unless there already are signs of physical aggression and trauma, women may find it confusing to let go. Some may still even hold on despite their bruises and broken bones.
Women have been told to be nurturing and reminded time and time again about the sanctity of marriage. Hence, it’s no wonder why some are hesitant to leave, even when it’s what should be done.
In discussions of timing, some believe that the moment people consider divorce, that should already be the correct time to do it. After all, nobody asks such a consequential question unless there are already signs pointing toward it. Yet, at the same time, people ask questions like these all the time, and for the most part, they don’t actually want their marriages to end.
So, what are some telling signs that leaving a broken marriage is the ultimate decision to make?
Lack of Intimacy
Couples won’t always be physical with each other. There will be times when they’ll be less intimate with one another, and that’s absolutely fine. However, if this goes on for a duration that one already finds distressing, then there may be trouble somewhere in the marriage. If this happens, the couple should sit down and address the underlying issue.
If the problem continues after this conversation, professional help or counseling may be the next step. However, if both sides believe that any initiative to resolve it may be futile, divorce is the best choice.
Bigamy
A marriage is a union between two people and no more than that. Hence, if a partner decides to see other people within the marriage, this should already be enough grounds for divorce. Not to mention, bigamy is illegal, so not only is this breaking someone’s heart, but it is also breaking the law.
Bigamy isn’t a mistake. It’s a choice made by someone who can’t be contented in life. If someone has already made this decision, communication isn’t necessary. This should only be considered for the victim’s curiosity and peace of mind, not to fix the marriage.
Constant Criticism
People should be with someone who uplifts them. Criticism can still be present in relationships when it’s done for the other’s growth. However, if it happens constantly and the receiving end already feels like the words are weighing them down, perhaps it’s time to reconsider the union.
Criticism can be given in the guise of it being helpful. But on certain occasions, this can already be a glaring sign of contempt shown by the partner. If this is the case, couples can still talk it out and see if changes can be made. But if it continues, nobody should stay in a marriage that costs their mentality.
Lack of Empathy
Marriage is a union that requires both sides to be understanding and willing to compromise. Hence, if someone shows an unwillingness to take responsibility and listen, this can be frustrating. When this happens, leaving a broken marriage may be the only way to save one’s sanity. Nobody should be made to feel as though they’re putting more into the union only to be handed back an absence of understanding.
The choice to leave a marriage can be heavy. It will make people think of the possibility of regret or questioning if it’s the right thing to do. Leaving a broken marriage shouldn’t be a decision made overnight. Instead, it should be carefully considered and processed. Both sides of the union should agree to take this route, as nobody should be made to feel like they weren’t given a chance.
When it’s time to leave, it will show.
Tish Barnhardt’s story will show glimpses of life in an unhappy marriage, what happens if one stays, and how relieving it will be to leave. If you’re interested in finding out what happens, grab a copy of So You Want to Be a First Lady now!
